The Mourning After Project
Fundraising will resume in the Winter of 2021

The goal is to help myself heal, help others heal, motivate others, give to the greater good and most importantly in today's time to highlight that no matter where we're from( ethnicity and background) that we have to go through some sort of mourning and display the similarities, differences hopefully bringing us together and keeping the dialogue around mourning, mental health, and healing...

On April 2nd 2006, My mother Geralda suffered a heart attack & suddenly passed away at the age of 45, as a young adult primed to graduate college & recently celebrating my 21st birthday I was challenged with the most difficult obstacle of my life.  

Initially tons of family & friends came to my support and shortly after it was back to quiet and time alone with myself with unanswered questions, thoughts, and multitude of emotions. Some days were harder than others and with the support of friends and family that made sure we remained connected I focused on my healing and and grieving. 

For years I wanted to do something around mother's day or the anniversary of my mother's  passing to raise funds for cardiovascular health, fibroids and research while sparking the dialogue around mourning the loss of a loved one, healing and mental health.

For the 12 year Anniversary of my mothers passing, April 2nd, 2018 I hosted a Photography exhibit that launched the project with images and stories from individuals interviewed. Each interviewee will choose a cause to where I will donate a portion of the proceeds from this campaign and a portion of the proceeds will go to funding all activities to finalize the documentary. 

I started the interviews and capturing images. My friends, peers and fellow photographers has motivated me to look within for inspiration and versatility. I will share my thought/creative process including roadblocks and hurdles along the way.

In the beginning I wanted to keep this to myself up until the project was near completion. Part of it was vulnerability and part of it was uncertainty. I figured if I shared this with you we can get the conversation started, pool resources and collaborate where necessary. 

The goal is to help myself heal, help others heal, motivate others, give to the greater good and most importantly in today's time to highlight that no matter where we're from( ethnicity and background) that we have to go through some sort of mourning and display the similarities, differences hopefully bringing us together and keeping the dialogue around mourning, mental health, and healing.

The project is titled: The MOURNING after

www.shellbair.com/forgeralda

If interested or you know anyone interested, I'm currently revamping the conversation and scheduling interviews through November 2021.

Email mourningafterproject@gmail.com for all inquiries.

Follow on Instagram: 

@themorningafterproject

@shellbairfoto

BRIANA | FOR WANDA

TMAPFG: How did you react finding out your mother passed away? 

BRIANA: I was extremely sad and hysterical. It was a tough night initially and it took a really long time to sink in. I don’t know if it was an age thing but I can only speak for myself, I knew my mom was very sick but you’re still at that age where you think your parents are invincible.

Even though my mother was sick she was very much into “keeping life normal”  and with battling cancer there are days when she was tired or didn’t have any energy but one thing my mom did was not make it apparent majority of the time that she had cancer. From thinking she was living life normal to suddenly passing away definitely hard for me to understand and it took a very long time to figure it out and get comfortable with the fact that I had to grow up without her.

A lot of things changed. My mom and dad where divorced since I was two years old. I  had a great relationship with my dad  but I lived with my mom. My aunt moved in when things where settling and then my Dad moved in. It’s very different to go from seeing your dad every other weekend then to seeing him all the time because my dad was the “good cop” and my mom was the “bad cop”.

Once those changes sunk in that’s when I realized wow this is my new life and we would have to forge on. That’s why I would also say I’m from queens, after my mom passed away I went to High school in Queens. The Bronx is where I’m originally from but I would say I started my life in Queens as a teenager so I say I’m from both.

All those life changes was what cemented the fact that she wasn’t here any more.

DONATIONS TO BE APPLIED TO: YOUTH ORPHANAGES

#FORWANDA

KHALID | FOR JEAN-YVES

TMAPFG: When did you find out and how?

KHALID: Sheesh man...I’ll never forget that day...around that time my dad was recovering from surgery that removed the tumor & I was in Miami for the carnival I got a call from my mom’s cousin Nicole telling me to rush back to New York.

The doctors stated he doesn’t have much time to live. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing on the phone. I caught the first flight I could and ended up getting back later that night. I went to go see him and I think at that point the tumor spread to his brain and I couldn’t make out what he was trying to say. The doctors recommended we transfer him to hospice. 

I’m thinking he’ll be around for a little bit longer and I decided to go to work on Tuesday since I pretty much started a new job.  9:30/:45a I cant remember if it was from the house or hospice telling me that he passed away. I was balling(crying) I couldn’t believe it. I was balling uncontrollably and I go to my boss and couldn’t stop balling I’m in the cab. When I got home everyone was sad and I’m tears. Wow literally as I walked into work my dad passed away....yea that day I will never forget.

Everyone was in shock it just happened so quick we found out in August he had cancer & he had surgery later on in the month...never in a million years I would think he would pass away just two months after surgery...total shock

DONATIONS TO BE APPLIED TO: CANCER RESEARCH

#FORJEANYVES 

#SIOBHAN | FOR GERALD

TMAPFG: What did you learn about yourself and those around you after your Father passed?

SIOBHAN: Sometimes you just need people to listen to you, I can’t be the only one listening and not speak about my own sh*t...

A lot of the time people mostly come to me to talk, yea sometimes you know you have certain friends I don’t think they do it on purpose(some of them do)certain friends will call you like hey how you doing but it’s not really a question it’s like a “hey how you doing you know what happened to me....etc.” and they just go on about themselves and you’re just there being a friend listening but it’s not really a “are you good” I appreciate the friends that actually care.

I think the thing is sometimes you just find comfort in certain people that you can talk to all the time and you can easily forget that they need to be heard too. It’s not even like they’re doing it on purpose but it’s. I realized that I can be that person for everybody and no one is there for me.

DONATIONS TO BE APPLIED TO: SUICIDE PREVENTION